"The Official Diet" joke

How To Lose Weight Without Exercise:

Here's The Guide To Calorie-Burning Activities And The Number
Of Calories Per Hour They Consume. Beating Around The Bush 75
Jumping To Conclusions 100
Climbing The Walls 150
Swallowing Your Pride 50
Passing The Buck 25
Throwing Your Weight Around (Depending On Your Weight) 50-300
Dragging Your Heels 100
Pushing Your Luck 250
Making Mountains Out Of Molehills 500
Hitting The Nail On The Head 50
Wading Through Paperwork 300
Bending Over Backwards 75
Jumping On The Bandwagon 200
Balancing The Books 25
Running Around In Circles 350
Eating Crow 225
Tooting Your Own Horn 25
Climbing The Ladder Of Success 750
Pulling Out The Stops 75
Adding Fuel To The Fire 160
Wrapping It Up At The Day's End 12
To Which You May Want To Add Your Own Favorite Activities, Including:
Opening A Can Of Worms 50
Putting Your Foot In Your Mouth 300
Starting The Ball Rolling 90
Going Over The Edge 25
Picking Up The Pieces After 350
Counting Eggs Before They Hatch 6
Calling It Quits 2