"Successful Summit" joke

While visiting the United States, the Pope met with President Clinton. Rather than just an hour as scheduled, the meeting lasted for two days. Finally, a weary President Clinton emerged to meet with the media.
Smiling, he announced that the summit was a great success. He said he and the Pope agreed on 80% of the matters they discussed and that he was now going home to the White House to be with his family.
The Pope then came out to make his statement. He appeared tired, very discouraged and close to tears. Sadly, he announced his meeting with the President was a failure. Confused, one reported asked, "But, your Holiness, the President just announced the summit was quite a success and the two of you agreed on 80% of the items discussed."
Frustrated, the Pope replied, "Yes, but we were discussing the Ten Commandments!"

Q: What is the similarity between a rubix cube and a dick?
A: The more you play with them, the harder they get!

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Why is santa claus always so happy?
He knows where all of the bad girls live!

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At the emergency meeting of the UN regarding another conflict in the Middle East, the floor has been given to the Israeli Consul.The Israeli Consul began, "Ladies and gentlemen before I commence with my speech, I wanted to relay an old story to all of you.... ..When Moses more...

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- who's that slut waving at us?
- Nan thats mum

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Software Engineer, a Hardware Engineer and a Branch Manager were on their way to a meeting. They were driving down a steep mountain road when suddenly the brakes on their car failed. The car careened almost out of control down the road, bouncing off the crash barriers, until it more...

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