"Skinny Dipping" joke
This old fellow owned this farm for several years.
He had a large pond in the back forty and had it fixed up really nice, horseshoe courts, picnic tables, basketball court, etc. The pond was fixed for swimming when it was built.
One evening, since he hadn't been there for a while, the old farmer decided to go down to the pond and look it over. As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee. As he came closer, he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny dipping in his pond.
He made the women aware of his presence and they all went to the deep end of the pond.
One of the women shouted to him, "Mister, we're not coming out until you leave!"
The old man replied, "I didn't come down here to watch you ladies swim or get out of the pond... I only came to feed my alligators!"
A cop pulled a guy over for speeding at which time the following conversation was exchanged:
Cop: May I see your driver's license?
Driver: Sorry, I don't have one. It was suspended when I got my 5th DUI.
Cop: May I see the owner's card for the more...
Wee Hughie is sitting on a train across from a busty blonde wearing a tiny mini skirt.
Despite his efforts, he is unable to stop staring at the top of her thighs. To his delight, he realises she has gone without underwear.
The blonde realises he is staring and inquires, more...
Der next night vas Christmas
Der night it vas still
Der stockings ver hung
By der shimney to fill.
Nothing vas sturring
At all in der Haus
For fear dot St. Nicklaus
Vos nichts komm heraus.
Der shuldren vas tucked
Away in der betts
And Mama more...
Once James Bond and a Sri Lankan cricketer guy were flying together, seated next to each other.
Sri Lankan cricketer: "Hello, May I know your name please?"
James Bond: "I am Bond. James Bond."
James Bond: "And more...
Q: What is the similarity between a rubix cube and a dick?
A: The more you play with them, the harder they get!