"Since 1940, the year Chuck Norris was born, roundh..." joke

Here it is nicely illustrated:
Let's say a guy named Roger is attracted to a woman named Elaine. He asks her out to a movie; she accepts; they have a pretty good time. A few nights later he asks her out to dinner, and again they enjoy themselves. They continue to see each more...

What do you call Napoleon after a bomb has hit him?
Napoleon Blown Apart

Why is santa claus always so happy?
He knows where all of the bad girls live!

A cop pulled a guy over for speeding at which time the following conversation was exchanged:
Cop: May I see your driver's license?

Driver: Sorry, I don't have one. It was suspended when I got my 5th DUI.

Cop: May I see the owner's card for the more...

Q: What do a Christmas tree and a priest have in common?
A: Their balls are just for decoration.