"Signs The Ice Cream Truck Driver Is Crazy" joke

* To balance the yin of Good Humor, offers the yang from frozen Bile on a Stick.

* Number of kills clearly marked on the side of his truck.

* He's paranoid because he's "always being followed by someone disguised as little children."

* His route takes him down your street at precisely 3: 30 am every morning.

* Comes to work wearing only a strategically placed waffle cone.

* All the flavors have the word "Opossum" somewhere in their titles.

* Happy calliope music replaced with Mozart’s "Requiem."

* Offers three flavors: Chocolate, Vanilla, and Sacred Blood of the Martyrs.

* Popsicles, Creamsicles, Fudgesicles -- sure. Spleensicles? Never heard of ‘em!

* "Little Mr. Softee" always making surprise appearances.

* Every time you get close to his truck he guns it and laughs while yelling, "Maybe next time, Lardass!"

* On Tuesdays, drives backwards and demands ice cream from little kids.

* Ice cream sandwiches come with alfalfa sprouts, dijon mustard and a pickle.

* "Ice cream! Get your... HEY, YOU LITTLE BASTARDS! GET THE HELL AWAY FROM MY TRUCK!. .. Ice cream, get your ice cream!..."

* Likes Jerry, but says Ben is "a real turd."