"Scouser in Liverpool" joke

A scouser was sitting in his local bar having a beer in the afternoon. A little gay guy walked in to the bar, after plucking up some courage he went over to the Scouser and said " What are the chances of a blow job " The scouser punched him on the nose dragged him outside and punched him again before returning to his drink. The barman said " Ive never seen you act so violently before, what did that guy say to you ? " I am not sure he replied it was somthing about a job >

Q: What is the similarity between a rubix cube and a dick?
A: The more you play with them, the harder they get!

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A lawyer and a blonde are sitting next to each other on a long flight from LA to NY. The lawyer leans over to her and asks if she would like to play a fun game. The blonde just wants to take a nap, so she politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few more...

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all we need to do is put a flashlight to your hairline then we will get the batmat symbol

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Once upon a time, there lived a man who had a terrible passion for baked beans.
He loved them, but they always had an embarrassing and somewhat lively reaction
on him. One day he met a girl and fell in love. When it was apparent that they
would marry, he thought to more...

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If Ida Lupino married George Wendt, then divorced him to marry Ted Danson, divorced him to marry Alan Alda, then divorced him to marry Ted Knight, and divorced him to marry Shelly Long, she'd be Ida Wendt Danson Alda Knight Long.
If Whoopi Goldberg married Peter Cushing, more...

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