"Polish fisherman" joke
One day an Italian and a Pollock were fishing on opposite sides of the same river, but the Italian guy was catching all of the fish.
Eventually, the Pollock asks the Italian, "How do you get to the other side?"
The Italian guy says, "I'll turn on my flashlight and you can walk across the beam."
The Polish guy says, "Nice try... Just because I'm Polish doesn't mean that I'll fall for that. I'll get halfway across and you'll turn it off!"
Don't worry about the world ending today... It's already tomorrow in Australia.
A lawyer and a blonde are sitting next to each other on a long flight from LA to NY. The lawyer leans over to her and asks if she would like to play a fun game. The blonde just wants to take a nap, so she politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few more...
A cop pulled a guy over for speeding at which time the following conversation was exchanged:
Cop: May I see your driver's license?
Driver: Sorry, I don't have one. It was suspended when I got my 5th DUI.
Cop: May I see the owner's card for the more...
all we need to do is put a flashlight to your hairline then we will get the batmat symbol
Once upon a time, there lived a man who had a terrible passion for baked beans.
He loved them, but they always had an embarrassing and somewhat lively reaction
on him. One day he met a girl and fell in love. When it was apparent that they
would marry, he thought to more...