"Picking Up Supplies" joke
One day, farmer Brown was in town picking up some supplies. He stopped by the hardware store and picked up a bucket and an anvil. Next, he stopped by the livestock dealer to buy a goose and a couple of chickens. Now, however, he had a problem: how to carry all of his purchases home.
The livestock dealer said, "Why not put the anvil in the bucket, carry the bucket in one hand, put a chicken under each arm, and carry the goose in your other hand?"
"Good thinking. Thanks," the farmer said, and off he went.
While walking, he met a lady who told him she was lost. She asked, "Can you tell me how to get to 1725 Willoughby Lane?"
The farmer said, "Well, as a matter of fact, I live at 1835 Willoughby Lane. Let's take my short cut and go down this alley. We'll be there in no time.
The lady replied, "I am a lonely widow without a husband to defend me. How do I know that when we get in the alley you won't hold me up against the wall, pull up my skirt, and ravish me?"
"Oh please, lady," the farmer replied. "I am carrying a bucket, an anvil, a goose, and two chickens. How on earth could I possibly hold you up against the wall and do that?"
The lady said, "Set the goose down, cover him with the bucket, put the anvil on top of the bucket, and I'll hold the chickens!"
A dumb blonde was really tired of being made fun of, so she decided to have her hair she would look like a brunette. When she had brown hair, she decided to take a drive in the country.
After she had been driving for a while, she saw a farmer and a flock of sheep and more...
Two cats: Felix & Un-deux-trois, decided to have a race to see who could swim across the river first.Guess who won? Felix! Because Un-deux-trois cat sank.
(Un deux trois quatre cinq)
A lawyer and a blonde are sitting next to each other on a long flight from LA to NY. The lawyer leans over to her and asks if she would like to play a fun game. The blonde just wants to take a nap, so she politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few more...
An American businessman was at the pier of a small coastal Mexican village when a small boat with just one fisherman docked. Inside the small boat were several large yellow fin tuna.
The American complimented the Mexican on the quality of his fish and asked how long it took more...
While walking down the street one day, a Republican head of state is tragically hit by a truck and dies. His soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance.
"Welcome to Heaven," says St. Peter. "Before you settle in, it seems there is a more...