"Parrot gets around" joke

Yet another parrot joke:
Last week a woman entered a local pet-shop with the intention of purchasing
a talking bird. However, it seems a lot of people are going to receive
talking parrots for Christmas this year, as the shopkeeper had sold her
entire stock of speaking pets, except for one rather attractive Macaw.
It turned out that this bird had lived in the local massage parlour prior
to being sold to the pet-shop. Despite this the woman purchased the Macaw
and took him home to show the family. As soon as she had the bird settled
on a perch at her home he looked around and said:
"Arrrk, new joint, new madam! Arrrk!"
Later that day the woman's two daughters arrived home from high school.
Upon seeing the teenagers the Macaw yelled:
"Arrrk, new joint, new madam, new girls! Arrrk!"
Then father came home from the office and when our feathered friend saw him
the bird squawked:
"Arrrk, new joint, new madam, new girls, same old customers. G'day Jimmy!"

Once upon a time, there lived a man who had a terrible passion for baked beans.
He loved them, but they always had an embarrassing and somewhat lively reaction
on him. One day he met a girl and fell in love. When it was apparent that they
would marry, he thought to more...

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If Ida Lupino married George Wendt, then divorced him to marry Ted Danson, divorced him to marry Alan Alda, then divorced him to marry Ted Knight, and divorced him to marry Shelly Long, she'd be Ida Wendt Danson Alda Knight Long.
If Whoopi Goldberg married Peter Cushing, more...

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Three men were all applying for the same job as a detective. One was Polish, one was Jewish, and one was Italian. Rather than ask the standard questions during the interview, the chief decided to ask each applicant just one question and base his decision upon that more...

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A lawyer and a blonde are sitting next to each other on a long flight from LA to NY. The lawyer leans over to her and asks if she would like to play a fun game. The blonde just wants to take a nap, so she politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few more...

200
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A blonde walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer. She says she's going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5, 000.00.
The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of security for the loan, so the blonde hands over the keys more...

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