"Osama bin Laden, feeling sickly and concerned about his mortality.." joke

...consults a psychic about the date of his impending death. Closing her eyes, and silently reaching into the future realm, she finds the answer.
"You will die on an American holiday." "Which one?" bin Laden asks nervously. "Doesn't matter," replied the psychic. "Whenever you die, it will be an American holiday!"
Only in America... "...do banks leave safe doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.

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