"Nail Biting" joke

There was a man who couldn't seem to stop biting his nails, so he went to see a psychiatrist for some help.
After explaining his problem, the doctor told him that nail biting was a common complaint, but it really didn't cause any harm.
"That's what you think, doc," said the man. "I'm a carpenter!"

Hearts and roses and kisses galore...
What the hell is that schtuff for
People get mushy and start acting queer
It's definitely the most annoying day of the year.
This day needs to get the hell over with and pass.
Before I shove a dozen roses up Cupid's more...

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A guy says to his friend, "I can't remember if the doctor told me my wife has AIDS or Alzheimer's."
His friend says, "It's simple. Drive her to the other side of town. If she finds her way home, don't fuck her."

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A very attractive lady goes up to a bar in a quiet rural pub. She gestures alluringly to the bartender who comes over immediately. When he arrives, she seductively signals that he should bring his face closer to hers. When he does, she begins to gently caress his full more...

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Q: What is the similarity between a rubix cube and a dick?
A: The more you play with them, the harder they get!

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A lawyer and a blonde are sitting next to each other on a long flight from LA to NY. The lawyer leans over to her and asks if she would like to play a fun game. The blonde just wants to take a nap, so she politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few more...

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Funny Joke? 7 vote(s). 57% are positive. 0 comment(s).