"Munnabhai's Resume" joke

Objective: To obtain a challenging position as a Crime Implementation Analyst (CIA)

Education:

* B. S. (Crime Technology) Tihar Jail, India, August 1994
* M. S. (Criminal Sciences) Virginia Prison for International Smugglers and the Unlawful Activists(VPISUA), August 1996.

Thesis:

"On escaping from high security prisons like Alcatraz with minimal efforts"

Coursework:

Cop Psychology, Plastic Explosives Technology, Bomb Controls and Timer Device Theory, International Smuggling and Drug Trafficking, Object Oriented Crime Design

Work Experience:

* Research Assistant, LTTE Labs, Jaffna, Aug 1990-Aug 1991
* Worked on the prestigious Belt Bomb project
* Developed instant death cyanide capsules in orange, strawberry and mint flavors (Patent# 007, 13, 666)

Summer Internship:

Dawood Ibrahim and Haji Mastan Associates, Bombay, June1987-July1990

* Worked as a hitman and was responsible for many supari style killings
* Participated in election rigging in Bihar and made hafta Collections

Honors & Achievements:

* Won 1980 Gabbar Singh Memorial Award (given to child prodigies in crime)
* Member, IPKF (Indian Professional Killers Forum) student chapter
* Strong hold on Govt. & NGOs.
* Specialized in extortion, illegal construction business & fake academic degree supply.

References:

* Dr. Charles Sobhraj, Full Time Prof., Tihar Jail, New Delhi
* Dr. Chandra Swamy, Visiting Faculty Tihar Jail, New Delhi
* Dr. Dawood Ibrahim, Overseas Projects Manager, Dubai.