"Moses is sitting in the" joke

Moses is sitting in the Egyptian ghetto, things are going terrible: the
Pharoah won't even talk to him, the rest of the Hebrews are mad at him
for making the overseers even more irritable than usual, etc. He's about
ready to give up.
Suddenly a booming, sonorous voice speaks from above: "You, Moses, heed
Me. I have good news, and bad news."
Moses is staggered. The voice continues:
"You, Moses, will lead the
people of Israel from bondage. If the pharoah refueses to release your
bonds I will smote egypt with a rain of frogs.
"You, Moses, will lead
the people of Israel to the promised land. If the pharoah blocks your
way I will smote egypt with a plague of locusts.
"You, Moses, will lead
the people to freedom and safety. If the pharoah's army pursues you, I
will part the waters of the red sea to open your path to the promised
Moses is stunned. He stammers, "That's, that's fantastic, I can't
believe it! - but what's the bad news?"
"You, moses, must write the environmental impact statement."

Juan comes up to the Mexican border on his bicycle. He's got two large bags over his shoulders.
The guard stops him and says, "What's in the bags?""Sand," answered Juan.The guard says, "We'll just see about that get off the bike." The guard more...


Five surgeons are discussing who makes the best patients to operate on.
The first surgeon says, "I like to see accountants on my operating table, because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered."
The second responds, "Yeah, but you should try more...


In the days of the Wild West, there was a young cowboy who wanted more than anything to be the greatest gunfighter in the world. He practiced every minute of his spare time, but he knew that he wasn't yet first-rate and that there must be something he was doing wrong.
One more...


Once there was a little boy named Jimmy. One day jimmy asked his Dad if he could take a shower with him. His Dad said OK but don't look down. So they got in and Jimmy looked down and said "Daddy what's that?" His Dad said that is my limo. That same day Jimmy asked his more...


Mr. Bell is an elderly man who resides in a nursing home. One day, he entered the nurses' office and advised Nurse Lewis that his penis had died.
Realizing that Mr. Bell was old and forgetful, Nurse Lewis decided to humor him and just play along. "It did? I'm sorry to more...

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