"Marriage Proposal Blunder" joke

Joe had gone to propose to his girlfriend and returned home crying bitterly. "What happened, son?" his father asked, eagerly awaiting her response. "Did she accept?"
"No, she sure didn't," sobbed Joe. "When I told her what you advised me to say, she slapped my face and told me to get out."
"Did you begin by telling her what I told you to say, what I told your mother when she accepted my proposal? 'Sweetheart, time stands still when I look in your eyes.' Did you tell her that?" asked his father.
"Oh boy, dad, I got it all wrong," Joe groaned. "I said, 'Dear, your face would stop a clock!'"

A priest was called away for an emergency. Not wanting to leave the confessional unattended, he called his rabbi friend from across the street and asked him to cover for him.
The rabbi told him he wouldn't know what to say, but the priest told him to come on over and he'd more...

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A 6-year-old was overheard reciting the Lord's Prayer at a church service: "And forgive us our trash passes, as we forgive those who passed trash against us."

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The proposal
Shlomo and Hetty, an elderly widow and widower, had been dating for about three years when Shlomo finally decided to ask Hetty to marry him. She immediately said "yes".
The next morning when he awoke, Shlomo couldn`t remember what her answer was! more...

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To find out, Take this handy quiz:
You have prepared a proposal for your supervisor. The success of this
proposal will mean increasing your salary 20%. In the middle of your
proposal your supervisor leans over to look at your report and spits more...

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