"Man On Bridge" joke
I was walking across a bridge one day, and I saw a man standing on theedge, about to jump off. I immediately ran over and said "Stop! Don't do it!""Why shouldn't I?" he said.I said, "Well, there's so much to live for!""Like what?""Well... are you religious or atheist?""Religious.""Me too! Are you Christian or Jewish?""Christian.""Me too! Are you Catholic or Protestant?""Protestant.""Me too! Are you Episcopalian or Baptist?""Baptist.""Wow! Me too! Are you Baptist Church of God or Baptist Church of theLord?""Baptist Church of God.""Me too! Are you Original Baptist Church of God, or are you ReformedBaptist Church of God?""Reformed Baptist Church of God.""Me too! Are you Reformed Baptist Church of God, reformation of 1879, or Reformed Baptist Church of God, reformation of 1915?""Reformed Baptist Church of God, reformation of 1915!"To which I said, "Die, heretic scum!" and pushed him off.
How do you know if a chink robbed your house?
Your homework is done, your computer is upgraded, but two hours later the chink is still trying to back out of your driveway!
A cop pulled a guy over for speeding at which time the following conversation was exchanged:
Cop: May I see your driver's license?
Driver: Sorry, I don't have one. It was suspended when I got my 5th DUI.
Cop: May I see the owner's card for the more...
A LARGE, well established, Canadian lumber camp advertised that they were looking for a good lumberjack.
The very next day, a skinny little guy showed up at the camp with his axe, and knocked on the head lumberjacks' door. The head lumberjack took one look at the little man more...
A guy calls a company and orders their 5-day, 5kg weight loss program.
The next day, there's a knock on the door and there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic, 19 year old babe dressed in nothing but a pair of Nike running shoes and a sign around her more...