"Mailman's Final Day" joke

After 30 years of delivering mail through all kinds of weather to the same neighborhood, it was the mailman's final day on the job.
When he arrived at the first house on his route, the family was all there to greet him. They all congratulated him, wished him well and sent him on his way with a gift envelope.
The family at the second house presented him with a selection of terrific fishing lure. At the third house, he was given a box of fine cigars.
At the fourth house he was met at the door by a strikingly beautiful woman in a revealing negligee. Taking him by the hand, she gently led him through the door and up the stairs to the bedroom where she presented him with the most passionate love he had ever experienced.
When he had had enough, they went downstairs to the kitchen where she fixed him a giant breakfast: eggs, bacon, potatoes, sausages, waffles, and fresh-squeezed orange juice. When he was truly satisfied, she poured him a cup of fresh roasted coffee. As she was pouring, he noticed a dollar bill sticking out from under the cup.
"All this was just too wonderful for words," he said, "but what's the dollar for?"
"Well," she said, "last night I told my husband that today would be your final day on the job and that we should do something special for you. I asked him what to give you. He said, 'Screw him, give him a dollar.' The breakfast was my idea."

Once upon a time, there lived a man who had a terrible passion for baked beans.
He loved them, but they always had an embarrassing and somewhat lively reaction
on him. One day he met a girl and fell in love. When it was apparent that they
would marry, he thought to more...

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If Ida Lupino married George Wendt, then divorced him to marry Ted Danson, divorced him to marry Alan Alda, then divorced him to marry Ted Knight, and divorced him to marry Shelly Long, she'd be Ida Wendt Danson Alda Knight Long.
If Whoopi Goldberg married Peter Cushing, more...

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Three men were all applying for the same job as a detective. One was Polish, one was Jewish, and one was Italian. Rather than ask the standard questions during the interview, the chief decided to ask each applicant just one question and base his decision upon that more...

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A lawyer and a blonde are sitting next to each other on a long flight from LA to NY. The lawyer leans over to her and asks if she would like to play a fun game. The blonde just wants to take a nap, so she politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few more...

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A blonde walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer. She says she's going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5, 000.00.
The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of security for the loan, so the blonde hands over the keys more...

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