"Lost in the desert" joke

There's this guy who had been lost and walking in the desert for about 2 weeks.
One hot day, he sees the home of a missionary. Tired and weak, he crawls up to the house and collapses on the doorstep.
The missionary finds him and nurses him back to health.
Feeling better, the man asks the missionary for directions to the nearest town.
On his way out the backdoor, he sees this horse. He goes back into the house and asks the missionary, "Could I borrow your horse and give it back when I reach the town?"
The missionary says, "Sure but there is a special thing about this horse. You have to say 'Thank God' to make it go and 'Amen' to make it stop."
Not paying much attention, the man says, "Sure, ok."
So, he gets on the horse and says, "Thank God" and the horse starts walking. Then he says, "Thank God, Thank God," and the horse starts trotting.
Feeling really brave, the man say, "Thank God, Thank God, Thank God, Thank God, Thank God" and the horse just literally takes off.
Pretty soon he sees this cliff coming up and he's doing everything he can to make the horse stop. "Whoa, stop, hold on!!!"
Finally he remembers, "AMEN!!"
The horse stops 4 inches from the cliff.
The man leans back in the saddle and says, "Thank God".

Ole and Sven went fishing one summer and decided to rent a boat from the resort instead of fishing from the shore. They rowed out a ways and started to fish. They caught one fish after the other. Ole says to Sven, "I wish we could mark this spot. It’s the best fishing more...

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q. What’s the gallbladder’s favorite band?
a. The Rolling Stones.

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all we need to do is put a flashlight to your hairline then we will get the batmat symbol

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One day 2 blondes decided to drive to Disneyland. When they saw a sign that said "Disneyland left" they turned around and went home.

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Two pollocks were walking in the woods when they came across a sheep with it's head stuck in a fence.
The one pulls down his pants & does the sheep.
Then he turns to his buddy and said, "Ok it's your turn."
So his buddy sticks his head in the fence.

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