"Lion eats an australian man!" joke
A lion in the London Zoo was lying in the sun licking its arse when a visitor turned to the keeper and said, 'That's a docile old thing, isn't it?'
'No way,' said the keeper, 'it's the most ferocious beast in the zoo. Why just an hour ago it dragged an Australian tourist into the cage and completely devoured him.'
'Hardly seems possible,' said the astonished visitor, 'but why is it lying there licking its arse?'
'The poor thing is trying to get the taste out of its mouth.'
Don't worry about the world ending today... It's already tomorrow in Australia.
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