"Jesus and Satan were" joke
Jesus and Satan were having an ongoing argument about who was better on
his computer. They had been going at it for days, and God was tired of
hearing all of the bickering. Finally God said, ''Cool it. I am going to set
up a test that will run two hours and I will judge who does the better job.''
So down Satan and Jesus sat at the keyboards and typed away. They moused.
They did spreadsheets. They wrote reports. They sent faxes. They sent
e-mail. They sent out e-mail with attachments. They downloaded. They did
some genealogy reports. They made cards. They did every known job. But ten
minutes before their time was up, lightning suddenly flashed across the sky,
thunder rolled, the rain poured and, of course, the electricity went off.
Satan stared at his blank screen and screamed every curse word known in the
underworld.
Jesus just sighed.
The electricity finally flickered back on, and each of them restarted
their computers. Satan started searching frantically, screaming ''It's gone!
It's all gone! I lost everything when the power went out!''
Meanwhile, Jesus quietly started printing out all of his files from the past
two hours. Satan observed this and became irate. ''Wait! He cheated, how did
he do it?''
God shrugged and said, ''Jesus saves.''
A blonde walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer. She says she's going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5, 000.00.
The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of security for the loan, so the blonde hands over the keys more...
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An American businessman was at the pier of a small coastal Mexican village when a small boat with just one fisherman docked. Inside the small boat were several large yellow fin tuna.
The American complimented the Mexican on the quality of his fish and asked how long it took more...
A story is told of a Jewish man who was riding on the subway reading an Arab newspaper. A friend of his, who happened to be riding in the same subway car, noticed this strange phenomenon. Very upset, he approached the newspaper reader.
"Moshe, have you lost your mind? more...
Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.