"Jesus Is Gonna Get You" joke

A man was robbing a house in the middle of the night. All of a sudden, he heard a parrot cry out.
"Jesus is gonna get you." The robber ignored it, and takes the TV. Again, the parrot cries out.
"Jesus is gonna get you." The robber started to get a little worried.
"What's your name, birdie?"
"What dumbass named you Moses?"
"The same dumbass who called his rottweiler Jesus."

A lawyer and a blonde are sitting next to each other on a long flight from LA to NY. The lawyer leans over to her and asks if she would like to play a fun game. The blonde just wants to take a nap, so she politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few more...


A lawyer died and arrived at the Pearly Gates. Saint Peter asked him, "What have you done to merit entrance into Heaven?"
The lawyer thought a moment, then said, "A week ago, I gave a quarter to a homeless person on the street."
Saint Peter asked more...


Knock Knock
Who's there!
Ivor who?
Ivor sore hand from knocking on your door! Knock Knock
Who's there!
Ivor who?
Ivor good mind not to tell you now!


An American businessman was at the pier of a small coastal Mexican village when a small boat with just one fisherman docked. Inside the small boat were several large yellow fin tuna.
The American complimented the Mexican on the quality of his fish and asked how long it took more...


You mamma is soo fat she sat on a rainbow and skittles popped out!

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Anonym:Not cool
Funny Joke? 21 vote(s). 62% are positive. 1 comment(s).