"Inspecting the field where the new recruits" joke
Inspecting the field where the new recruits were running through camouflage exercises, the general was right pleased until suddenly a man disguised as a tree started screaming and shucked off his disguise of branches and leaves.
Livid with rage, the general ordered the panicked private to come to his tent.
"Soldier," he said when the man had calmed somewhat, "do you realize that if this had been a combat situation your irresponsible behavior might have gotten your entire regiment killed?"
"I'm sorry, sir," the soldier replied, "I really am.
"Sorry isn't enough!" the general boomed. "I want to know what happened!"
"Well, sir," the soldier began, "with all due respect, I stood perfectly still when a woodpecker came along and started poking at my arm. And I didn't so much as flinch when a dog wandered over and tipped a kidney on my leg.
But, sir. .. it was the squirrels that finally got to me."
"The squirrels?"
"Yes sir. It didn't bother me when they ran up my pants leg, but I just couldn't take it when one said to the other,' Let's eat one now and save the other for winter.. .
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