"I'm not 40-something" joke

I'm not 40-something. I'm $39.95, plus shipping and handling.

The cardiologist's diet: "If it tastes good, spit it out."

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After watching sales falling off for three straight months at Kentucky Fried Chicken, the Colonel calls up the Pope and asks for a favor.
The Pope says, ''What can I do?''
The Colonel says, ''I need you to change the daily prayer from, 'Give us this day our daily bread' more...

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One day, farmer Brown was in town picking up some supplies. He stopped by the hardware store and picked up a bucket and an anvil. Next, he stopped by the livestock dealer to buy a goose and a couple of chickens. Now, however, he had a problem: how to carry all of his purchases more...

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One day, farmer Williams was in town picking up supplies for his farm. He stopped by the hardware store and picked up a
bucket and an anvil. Then, he stopped by the livestock dealer to buy a couple of chickens and a goose.
However, he now had a problem, how to carry more...

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An American paratrooper jumped out of a plain. But his parachute did not open. Falling to the ground he saw a black dot moving towards him. He didn't know what it was, until he recognized a man.
' Hello' he shouted' I'm Jim, US Army. Do you know anything about parachutes? more...

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