"I Want The Job, Now!" joke

At two in the morning, the phone rang at the governor's mansion. An aide found himself talking to a local attorney, who insisted that he must speak to the governor immediately.
Despite pleas to postpone his call until morning, the attorney insisted that the call was over a matter of utmost urgency, and that he could not wait. Eventually, the aide reluctantly decided to wake up the governor.
"So, what is it?" grumbled the governor.
"Judge Cassidy just died," announced the attorney, "and I want to take his place."
The Governor shot back, "It's okay with me if it's okay with the undertaker."

A mighty fire had been raging at a Texas oil refinery. Fire engines from all around had tried in vain to get close enough to the fierce blaze to put it out, but the heat was so intense that no one could even get near the burning oil and gas. Hundreds of fire trucks from far and more...

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Gentlemen: I have been riding trains daily for the last two years,
and the service on your line seems to be getting worse every day. I
am tired of standing in the aisle all the time on a 14-mile trip. I
think the transportation system is worse than that enjoyed by more...

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A bachelor is a selfish, undeserving guy who has cheated some woman out of a divorce.

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One afternoon, a wealthy lawyer was riding in the back of his limousine when he saw two pathetic-looking men by the side of the road, eating grass. He ordered his driver to stop and got out to investigate. He asked the men, "Why are you eating grass?"
"We more...

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