"I Said the F Word" joke

A guy goes to his local church during the week to see the priest and confess his sins. He goes into the confessional box and says, "Father during the week I said the F-word."
The priest says, "Well my son, say 3 Hail Mary's and your sins will be forgiven."
The guy however was quite eager to explain to the priest why he had used the F-word and grudgingly the priest agreed to listen to his explanation.
"Well I was playing golf last Sunday instead of coming to church," said the guy.
"Is that why you said the F-word?" the priest asked.
"No," the guy replied. "I was on the first tee and I duck hooked my drive into this terrible rough."
"Is that why you said the F-word?" the priest asked.
"No," the guy replied getting quite annoyed with the constant interruptions to his story. "My ball took a lucky kick out of the rough and I was left with a perfect shot to the green."
"Is that why you said the F-word?" the priest asked.
"No," the guy said. "As I went to play my ball a squirrel grabbed it and took off with it."
"Is that why you said the F-word?" the priest asked.
"No," the guy replied. "As the squirrel was running away with my ball an eagle swooped down on it and took off with the squirrel and my ball."
"Is that why you said the F-word?" the priest asked.
"No," the guy replied. "The eagle dropped the squirrel over the green and the ball rolled out of its mouth and finished 5 inches from the hole."
The priest said, "Don't tell me - you missed the fucking putt!"

A cop pulled a guy over for speeding at which time the following conversation was exchanged:
Cop: May I see your driver's license?

Driver: Sorry, I don't have one. It was suspended when I got my 5th DUI.

Cop: May I see the owner's card for the more...

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Why is santa claus always so happy?
He knows where all of the bad girls live!

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An American businessman was at the pier of a small coastal Mexican village when a small boat with just one fisherman docked. Inside the small boat were several large yellow fin tuna.
The American complimented the Mexican on the quality of his fish and asked how long it took more...

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A wife went to the police station with her next-door neighbour to report that
her husband was missing. The policeman asked for a description.
She said, "He is 36 years old, 183 cm high, has brown eyes, brown hair, an
athletic body, weighs 75 kg, is soft-spoken, more...

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Mahinda decided to write the MBA exam. He could understand every thing except for the LOGIC part. One day when he was reading, his old friend Wimal came home.

Wimal: Mahinda How is your MBA preparation?

Mahinda: Every thing is fine, but I could not more...

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