"Hypnotic Preacher" joke
A local preacher was unhappy with the small amount in the collection plates each Sunday. Someone suggested to him that perhaps he should try hypnotizing the congregation into giving more.
"How would I go about doing something like that?" the preacher asked.
"It's quite simple. First you turn off the air conditioner so that the church is warmer than usual. Then you preach in a monotone. Meanwhile, you dangle a watch on a chain and swing it in a slow arc above the lectern and suggest they put 20 dollars in the collection plate."
So, the following Sunday, the reverend did as suggested and, lo and behold, the collection plates were full of 20 dollar bills. Now, the preacher did not want to take advantage of this technique each and every Sunday, so he waited for a couple of weeks and tried his mass hypnosis again.
Just as the last of the congregation was becoming mesmerized, the chain on the watch broke and the watch hit the lectern with a loud thud. Springs and parts flew everywhere.
"Shit!" exclaimed the reverend.
It took them one week to clean up the church.
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