"How much time do I have?!?" joke

While attending US Army's Airborne School...
Day before our first jump, the instructors (known as SGT Airbornes,
students are called 'Ariborne') demonstrated all the possible
malfunctions one might encounter. After watching a total malfunction,
i.e. the parachute fails to deploy, one of the students asked: "SGT
Airborne, if we have a complete malfunction, how much time do we have to
deploy our reserve parachutes?"
"Airborne, you have the REST of your life to deploy that reserve!"

Scientists at NASA built a gun specifically to launch dead chickens at the windshields of airplanes, military jets and the space shuttle, all traveling at maximum velocity. The idea is to simulate the frequent incidents of collisions with airborne fowl to test the strength of more...


The Army Airborne major was used to harassment from AirForce fliers about crazy Army paratroopers jumping out of perfectly good aircraft. "Obviously the Air Force knows there'sno such thing as a 'perfectly good aircraft,'" the irritated officer finally countered one more...


After enlisting in the 82nd Airborne Division, I eagerly asked my Recruiter what I could expect from jump school.
"Well," he said, "it's three weeks long."
"What else," I asked.
"The first week they separate the men from the more...

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