"Haikus Inspired by My Cats" joke

Thought I'd try my luck
Leaping from couch to dresser.
You did not see that.

Or,

Thought I'd try my luck
Leaping from couch to dresser.
God, that fucking hurt.

All I have to do,
Is lay and show my tummy.
Putty in my paws.

Sorry, don't know why;
Must run at mach three til morn.
Run run run run run.

Catnip, finest bud -
Makes me swing at my sister.
Can't handle my high.

Snarling, giant beast
Cowers at my deadly claws.
Hmph! Dogs! Such pansies!

It's not my fault, see -
The plant wants me to eat it.
"I dare you," it said!

She can't see me. Soon
I shall pounce her wee brains out!
Wait for it...and NOW!

Watch this - I chirp, and
He picks me up without fail.
I trained him GREAT, huh?

Dude, haikus are fun!
Especially ones about
Tino and Mena.