"Guide to being successful father" joke

Kids for what they are. They are the only ones who know how to undo child-proof bottles of aspirins when you've got a splitting headache.

Teach a nubile daughter by all means the old Christian precept that' you can't take it with you', but that doesn't mean she should start to give it away early.

Discourage your daughter from wearing skirts which will give her chapped buttocks, and your son from wearing jeans making him liable to arrest for indecent enclosure.

Teach your kids independence. Tell them that if they ever need a helping hand, there's one at the end of their arm.

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