"Gorilla Language" joke
A guy was standing in front of the gorilla cage at his local zoo when along came a gust of wind which swept some dust into his eye. The guy rubbed his eyelid which sent the gorilla crazy. He bent open the bars, and beat the guy senseless.
When the guy finally came to his senses, he reported the incident to the zookeeper. The zookeeper nodded knowingly as he explained that pulling down your eyelid means "screw you" in gorilla language. Obviously this didn't make the victim feel all that compensated for what had happened so he vowed revenge.
The next day, shopping list in hand, he purchased two large knives, two party hats, two party horns, and a large sausage. Placing the sausage in his pants, off he hurried to the zoo and went right up to the gorilla's cage where he opened up his bag of goodies. Of course he knew that gorillas were natural mimics so he proceeded to put on one of the party hats. As expected, the gorilla looked at him, reached through the bars, grabbed a hat from the bag, and put it on.
Next, the guy picked up his horn and blew on it. The gorilla reached out, picked up the other horn, and did the same. Finally, the man picked up his knife, whipped the sausage out of his pants, and sliced it in half. The gorilla looked at the knife, looked at his own crotch, looked at the man, and pulled down his eyelid.
A blonde, a brunette and a redhead were stuck on an island for many, many years until one day they found a magic lamp. They rubbed it hard and out popped a genie. He said that he could only give three wishes so since there were three girls, each would get one wish. The redhead more...
A very attractive lady goes up to a bar in a quiet rural pub. She gestures alluringly to the bartender who comes over immediately. When he arrives, she seductively signals that he should bring his face closer to hers. When he does, she begins to gently caress his full more...
A lawyer and a blonde are sitting next to each other on a long flight from LA to NY. The lawyer leans over to her and asks if she would like to play a fun game. The blonde just wants to take a nap, so she politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few more...
A mother had 3 virgin daughters. They were all getting married within a short time period. Because Mom was a bit worried about how their sex life would get started, she made them all promise to send a postcard from the honeymoon with a few words on how marital sex felt.
The more...
I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I lock ever
other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the
locks, they are always locking three.