"Funny Papers (history)" joke

This month's internal news letter continues the tradition of including exerpts from student exams and papers. This month: history.
Pharoah forced the Herbrew slaves to make bread without straw
Moses led them to the Red Sea, where they made unleaven bread, which is bread without any ingredients.
Afterwards Moses went up to Mt Cyanide to get the ten Commandments. He died before he ever reached Canada.
David was a Hebrew King skilled at playing the liar. He fought the Finklesteins, a race of people who lived in Biblical times.
Solomon, one of David's sons, had 300 wives and 700 porcupines.
The government of England was a limited mockery.
From the womb of Henry VIII protestantism was born. He found walking difficult as he had an abbess (sic) on his knee.

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