"ELEMENT: WOMAN" joke

ELEMENT: WOMANSYMBOL: WO DISCOVERER: ADAM ATOMIC MASS: Accepted as 53. 6 Kg, but known to vary from 40 to 200 Kg. OCCURRENCE: Copious quantities in all urban areas. Physical Properties: 1. Surface normally covered with a painted film. 2. Boils at nothing, freezes without any known reason. 3. Melts if given special treatment. 4. Bitter if incorrectly used. 5. Found in various states ranging from virgin metal to common ore. 6. Yields to pressure applied at correct points. Chemical Properties: 1. Has great affinity to gold, silver and a range of precious stones. 2. Absorbs great quantities of expensive substances. 3. May explode spontaneously without prior warning and for no apparent reason. 4. Insoluble in liquids, but activity greatly increases by saturation in alcohol. 5. Most powerful money reducing agent known to man. Common Uses: 1. Highly ornamental. 2. Can be a great aid in relaxation. 3. Very effective cleaning agent. Tests: 1. Pure specimen turns rosy pink when discovered in the natural state. 2. Turns green when placed beside a better specimen. Hazards: 1. Highly dangerous except in experienced hands. 2. Illegal to possess more than one, although several can bemaintained at different locations as long as specimens don't comeinto contact with each other.

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