"De Stewart" joke

Do you wake up Saturday mornings stiff and sore? Is another night like Friday night the only thing that will make you feel better? Do you workout alone? Do you find that once you've thrown a jab, you can't stop until you've followed it with a reverse punch? If so, you may be (gasp!!) HOOKED ON KARATE. How do you know? Here are a few clues. You know you're hooked when the first word out of your parrot's mouth is KIAI!, and you teach your cat how to free spar. You know you're hooked when you have more bruises than a roller derby queen, and you still go back for more. You know you're hooked when you shut the refrigerator door with a side thrust kick. You know you're hooked when you shop for clothes based on whether you can kick in them. You know you're hooked when the only clothes you'll wear are gis. You know you're hooked when you actually crave a beach workout. You know you're hooked when the books on your night stand are by authors like Gichin Funakoshi, Hirokazu Kanazawa and Musashi Miyamoto. You know you're hooked when the Twelve Days of Christmas becomes: one boxing bag, two boxing gloves, three shin pads (includes an extra pad for the one you'll inevitably lose), four Tokaido gi's, five rolls of adhesive tape.... twelve cases of Tiger Balm. You know you're hooked when you look for a place to live based on the amount of practice space it provides. You know you're hooked when you refuse to wear shoes.

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