"Bottle of Wine" joke

An extremely wealthy man walks into a fancy restaurant. He notices a beautiful woman sitting all alone at a table in the corner. He decides to send her a bottle of wine to get her attention. He tells the busboy to give her a bottle of their most expensive wine and tell her its from him.
The busyboy does as instructed and returns with a note from the woman.
The note reads, "For me to accept this bottle, you must have a Mercedes in the driveway, one million dollars in the bank, and seven inches in your pants."
The man reads this and sends the woman a note he wrote himself.
His note read, "For your information I have a Ferrari and a BMW in my garage, two million in the bank, and not even for a woman as beautiful as you would I cut three inches off my penis. Just send the bottle back."

What is the difference between Northern and Southern racism?
A southern racist doesn't mind blacks living nearby, as long as they
don't get "uppity."
A northern racist doesn't mind blacks getting "uppity" as long as they
don't live close.

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Two blondes walk into a bar. You'd think at least one of them would've seen it.

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What's the object of a Jewish football game? To get the quarter back!

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After she had been driving for a while, she saw a farmer and a flock of sheep and more...

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One day, little Timmy was at school and heard the word "shit". He went home and asked his dad for the definition and he promptly told him "coats and jackets".
Timmy went to school the next day and heard the word "fucking", and for a second time, more...

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