"Bottle of Wine" joke

An extremely wealthy man walks into a fancy restaurant. He notices a beautiful woman sitting all alone at a table in the corner. He decides to send her a bottle of wine to get her attention. He tells the busboy to give her a bottle of their most expensive wine and tell her its from him.
The busyboy does as instructed and returns with a note from the woman.
The note reads, "For me to accept this bottle, you must have a Mercedes in the driveway, one million dollars in the bank, and seven inches in your pants."
The man reads this and sends the woman a note he wrote himself.
His note read, "For your information I have a Ferrari and a BMW in my garage, two million in the bank, and not even for a woman as beautiful as you would I cut three inches off my penis. Just send the bottle back."

Person 1: Knock, Knock
Person 2: Who's there?
Person 1: Cows go.
Person 2: Cows go who?
Person 1: No, silly! Cows go moo!

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A man arrives at the gates of heaven. St. Peter asks, "Religion?" The man says, "Methodist." St. Peter looks down his list, and says, "Go to room 24, but be very quiet as you pass room 8."
Another man arrives at the gates of heaven. more...

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A guy calls a company and orders their 5-day, 5kg weight loss program.

The next day, there's a knock on the door and there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic, 19 year old babe dressed in nothing but a pair of Nike running shoes and a sign around her more...

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Q:what did god say when the first black person came to heaven?
A:oops I must of burnt one!!

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Arnold Schwartzinagor has a long one

Michael J. Fox has a short one

Madonna doesn't have one and

Bill Clinton uses his a lot

What is "it"?



A last name!

Now what were you thinking?

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