"Blessing!" joke
A priest and a rabbi operated a church and a synagogue across the street from each other. Since their schedules intertwined, they decided to go in together to buy a car.
After the purchase, they drove it home and parked it on the street between them.
A few minutes later, the rabbi looked out and saw the priest sprinkling water on their new car.
It didn't need a wash, so he hurried out and asked the priest what he was doing.
"I'm blessing it," the priest replied.
The rabbi considered this for a moment, then went back inside the synagogue.
He reappeared a moment later with a hacksaw, walked over to the back of the car and cut off two inches of the tailpipe.
A cop pulled a guy over for speeding at which time the following conversation was exchanged:
Cop: May I see your driver's license?
Driver: Sorry, I don't have one. It was suspended when I got my 5th DUI.
Cop: May I see the owner's card for the more...
Wee Hughie is sitting on a train across from a busty blonde wearing a tiny mini skirt.
Despite his efforts, he is unable to stop staring at the top of her thighs. To his delight, he realises she has gone without underwear.
The blonde realises he is staring and inquires, more...
Der next night vas Christmas
Der night it vas still
Der stockings ver hung
By der shimney to fill.
Nothing vas sturring
At all in der Haus
For fear dot St. Nicklaus
Vos nichts komm heraus.
Der shuldren vas tucked
Away in der betts
And Mama more...
Once James Bond and a Sri Lankan cricketer guy were flying together, seated next to each other.
Sri Lankan cricketer: "Hello, May I know your name please?"
James Bond: "I am Bond. James Bond."
James Bond: "And more...
Q: What is the similarity between a rubix cube and a dick?
A: The more you play with them, the harder they get!