"Ambivalent? Well yes and n" joke

Ambivalent? Well yes and no....

Does your train of thought have a caboose?

Is it time for your medication or mine?

I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted a paycheck

How do I set the laser printer to stun?

I`m not tense, just terribly, terribly alert....

Well, this day was a total waste of makeup.

Don`t bother me. I`m living happily ever after.

I started out with nothing still have most of it left.

And your crybaby, whiny opinion would be. ..?