"A small boy walks into his mothers room..." joke
A small boy walks into his mothers room and catches her topless." Mummy, mummy, what are these?" he says, pointing to her breasts." Well, son," she says, "these are balloons, and when you die, they inflate and float you up to heaven." Incredibly, he appears to believe this explanation and goes offquite satisfied. Two days later while his mother is making tea, he rushes intothe kitchen." Mummy, mummy, Aunt Mary is dying!"What do you mean? says his mother. Well she's in the garden shed, lying on the floor. Both herballoons are out, Dad's blowing them up, and she keeps yelling"God, I'm coming! I'm coming!!!"
Q: What is the similarity between a rubix cube and a dick?
A: The more you play with them, the harder they get!
A lawyer and a blonde are sitting next to each other on a long flight from LA to NY. The lawyer leans over to her and asks if she would like to play a fun game. The blonde just wants to take a nap, so she politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few more...
all we need to do is put a flashlight to your hairline then we will get the batmat symbol
Once upon a time, there lived a man who had a terrible passion for baked beans.
He loved them, but they always had an embarrassing and somewhat lively reaction
on him. One day he met a girl and fell in love. When it was apparent that they
would marry, he thought to more...
If Ida Lupino married George Wendt, then divorced him to marry Ted Danson, divorced him to marry Alan Alda, then divorced him to marry Ted Knight, and divorced him to marry Shelly Long, she'd be Ida Wendt Danson Alda Knight Long.
If Whoopi Goldberg married Peter Cushing, more...