"AMERICA: Passing the Blame" joke

We yanks just love to pass the blame. What other country can boast of 3 lawyers for every citizen. We come up with the best reasons to blame others for our own problems. Here's a small list...
If a woman burns her thighs on the hot coffee she's holding in her lap while driving,
she blames the restaurant.
If your teen-age son kills himself or then next door neighbors,
you blame the rock 'n' roll music or musician he liked.
If you smoke three packs a day for 40 years and die of lung cancer,
your family blames the tobacco company.
If your daughter gets pregnant by the football captain you blame the school for poor sex education.
If your neighbor crashes into a tree while driving home drunk, you blame the bartender.
If your cousin gets AIDS because the needle he used to shoot up with heroin was dirty,
you blame the government for not providing clean ones.
If your grandchildren are brats without manners, you blame television.
If your friend is shot by a deranged madman, you blame the gun manufacturer.
And if a crazed person breaks into the cockpit and tries to kill the pilots at 35,000 feet, and the passengers kill him instead, the mother of the deceased blames the airline.
I guess I'll just never understand the world as it is anymore...
So if I die while my old, wrinkled ass is parked in front of this computer while sending you this joke - I want you to blame Bill Gates, OK?

Yo mama is so stupid, it took her an hour to make minute rice!

79
47

I farted in an elevator yesterday... it was wrong on so many levels.

106
24

What is the value of a kind word?
In January of 1986 I was flipping through the channels on TV and saw the closing credits for a PBS show called "Funny Business," a show about cartooning. I had always wanted to be a cartoonist but never knew how to go about it. I more...

10
3

A dumb blonde was really tired of being made fun of, so she decided to have her hair she would look like a brunette. When she had brown hair, she decided to take a drive in the country.
After she had been driving for a while, she saw a farmer and a flock of sheep and more...

397
115

After 30 years of delivering mail through all kinds of weather to the same neighborhood, it was the mailman's final day on the job.
When he arrived at the first house on his route, the family was all there to greet him. They all congratulated him, wished him well and sent more...

6
1
Be first to comment!
remember me
follow replies
Funny Joke? 16 vote(s). 75% are positive. 0 comment(s).