Zippo Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Q: What do you get when something gets caught in your Zippo?
    A: Zippo Marx.

    Q: What do you get when something gets caught in your Zippo? A: Zippo Marx.

    HAMMER:
    Originally employed as a weapon of war, the hammer nowadays is used as a kind of divining rod to locate expensive car parts not far from the object we are trying to hit.
    MECHANIC'S KNIFE:
    Used to open and slice through the contents of cardboard cartons delivered to your front door; works particularly well on boxes containing convertible tops or tonneau covers.
    ELECTRIC HAND DRILL:
    Normally used for spinning steel Pop rivets in their holes until you die of old age, but it also works great for drilling rollbar mounting holes in the floor of a sports car just above the brake line that goes to the rear axle.
    PLIERS:
    Used to round off bolt heads.
    HACKSAW:
    One of a family of cutting tools built on the Ouija board principle. It transforms human energy into a crooked, unpredictable motion, and the more you attempt to influence its course, the more dismal your future becomes.
    VISE-GRIPS:
    Used to round off bolt heads. If nothing else is more...

    Automobile Tool Definitions
    Hammer:
    Originally employed as a weapon of war, the hammer nowadays is used as a kind of divining rod to locate expensive car parts not far from the object we are trying to hit.
    Mechanic's Knife:
    Used to open and slice through the contents of cardboard cartons delivered to your front door; works particularly well on boxes containing convertible tops or tonneau covers.
    Electric Hand Drill:
    Normally used for spinning steel Pop rivets in their holes until you die of old age, but it also works great for drilling rollbar mounting holes in the floor of a sports car just above the brake line that goes to the rear axle.
    Hacksaw:
    One of a family of cutting tools built on the Ouija board principle. It transforms human energy into a crooked, unpredictable motion, and the more you attempt to influence its course, the more dismal your future becomes.
    Vise-Grips:
    Used to round off bolt heads. If nothing else is available, they can more...

  • Recent Activity

    Tools by Anonym
    Caught In Zippo by Anonym
    Caught In Zippo by Anonym