Yuppette Jokes

A prominent Columbia Maryland Yuppette had her teenage niece from New York visiting for the summer. She decided to sit down and have a talk with the girl explaining how things were done in Yuppie City.
"Darling," she advised, "you must be careful of certain men who offer you several drinks. Before you realize it, they'll push you down on a couch and... well... our family will be disgraced."
Less than a week later, the Aunt asked her how things were going.
"Great!" said the girl. "A young stud did indeed try to ply me with liquor, but I made him drink them. Then, when he was bombed out of his mind, I pushed him down on couch and screwed his brains out. So it looks like our family's doing pretty damn good, huh?"

A Yuppie was standing at the country club bar with a tennis ball stuffed into the pocket of his shorts.
A lil' Yuppette next to him tapped him on the arm and pointed to the bulge and asked, "What's that?"
"Tennis ball." he replied.
"Ohhh... ouch!" the Yuppette responded grimacing. "I know how that must hurt. I've had tennis elbow before myself."

The Yuppette witnessed a neighbor lighting her Menorah candle each night & at first chance, engaged the lady in conversation. Her Jewish neighbor explained both the Holiday & the tradition.The subject of the conversation turned to their children.
The Yuppette bragged how she had raised a doctor and a banker.The Jewish neighbor said that she had only one son who was a Rabbi.The Yuppette exclaimed, "A Rabbi? ?? What kind of a job is that for a smart Jewish boy? "

The Yuppie showered a Yuppette with gifts for over a month. He took her to fancy restaurants and expensive resorts. Finally, he proposed, "Bernie, if you will marry me, I have enough money to provide you with anything your little heart desires.""Sorry John." she replied. "Im not ready to settle down yet. And besides, you cant buy my love, but if the price is right, I might see my way clear to rent you some."

The Yuppette had married a stockbroker. When asked how they met, she replied, "Oh, we were introduced by a mutual fund."