Yukon Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Ok, 3 canadians were walking along the beach, one from the Yukon, one from Quebec, and one from Newfoundland. Now, it happened that they found a magic lamp. After rubbing it, the genie promised each of them one wish. The Yukon said, "I wish for fish teeming in our waters for a million years." The genie snapped his fingers and said, "Done."
    The Yukon man went off to go fish. Now the Quebec man said, "Being as the Quebecois's (is that right?) are a superior race, I want a wall a mile high and a mile thick all the way around Quebec so no one can get in, and no one can get out.
    So the genie snapped his fingers, and transported the Quebecois to Quebec so there were no problems.
    The Newfie stepped up and said, "Ok, it's a mile high and a mile thick, and no one can get in or out right?"
    "Correct." said the genie.
    "Fill it with water."

    One day, after striking gold in Alaska, a lonesome miner came down from the mountains and walked into a saloon in the nearest town. "I'm lookin' for the meanest, roughest and toughest whore in the Yukon!" he said to the bartender.
    "We got her," replied the barkeep. "She's upstairs in the second room on the right."
    The miner handed the bartender a gold nugget to pay for the whore and two beers. He grabbed the bottles, stomped up the stairs, kicked open the second door on the right and yelled, "I'm lookin' for the meanest, roughest and toughest whore in the Yukon!"
    The woman inside the room looked at the miner and said, "You found her!"
    Then she stripped naked, bent over and grabbed her ankles.
    "How do you know I want to do it in that position?" asked the miner.
    "I don't," replied the whore, "but I thought you might like to open those beers first."

    Knock Knock
    Who's there?
    Yukon!
    Yukon who?
    Yukom say that again!

    One day, after striking gold in Alaska, a lonesome miner came down from the mountains and walked into a saloon in the nearest town. "I'm lookin' for the meanest, roughest and toughest whore in the Yukon!" he said to the bartender. "We got her!" replied the barkeep. "She's upstairs in the second room on the right." The miner handed the bartender a gold nugget to pay for the whore and two beers. He grabbed the beer bottles, stomped up the stairs, kicked open the second door on the right and yelled, "I'm lookin' for the meanest, roughest and toughest whore in the Yukon!" The woman inside the room looked at the miner and said, "You found her!" Then she stripped naked, bent over and grabbed her ankles. "How do you know I want to do it in that position?" asked the miner. "I don't," replied the whore, "but I thought you might like to open those beers before we get started."

    The Ten Commandments
    1. Thou shall not squeeze too hard on the opposite sexes genetalia
    2. Thou shall not ask for a kiss, just give one or take one
    3. Thou shall kiss at every given opportunity
    4. If thou kissed someone, and was slapped, thou shalt not kiss her again.
    5. Thou shall never bite when in the act of french kissing
    6. Thou shall not pay for sexual intercourse
    7. Thou shall not date members of state or Musicians
    8. Thou shall not have sexual intercourse in public convieniences.
    9. thou should never turn down free sexual intercourse
    10. Procreate at will
    Religions of the world
    Taoism: Shit happens
    Confucianism: Confucius say, shit happens
    Hinduism: This shit has happened before
    Buddhism: Shit happens, yet shit does not happen
    Islam: Shit happens, is Allah wills
    Judaism: Why does this shit always happen to me?
    Protestantism: Let shit happen to other people
    Catholicism: If shit more...

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