Wall Jokes / Recent Jokes
Three guys, a Tarheel, a Blue Devil and an NC State Wolfpack are out walking along the beach together one day. They come across a lantern and a Genie pops out of it.
"I will give you each one wish; that's three wishes total," says the Genie.
The Wolfpack says, "I am studying to be a farmer; my dad was a farmer and my son will also farm. I want the land in the Piedmont to forever be fertile."
With a blink of the Genie's eye, "FOOM" the land in the Piedmont was made forever fertile.
The Tarheel was amazed, so he said, "I want a wall around Chapel Hill, so that no one can come into our precious city."
Again, with a blink of the Genie's eye, "POOF" there was a huge wall around Chapel Hill.
The Blue Devil says, "I'm very curious. Please tell me more about this wall."
The Genie explains, "Well, it's about 150 feet high, 50 feet thick and nothing can get in or out."
The Blue Devil says, more...
Everyone hits a brick wall now and then; the trick is not to do it with your head.
A researcher is conducting a survey into sheep shagging. First of all he visits an English farmer.
"So, English farmer, how do you shag your sheep?"
"Well, I take the hind legs of the sheep and put them down my wellie boot and take the front legs of the sheep and put them over a wall."
"That's very interesting,"replies the researcher and he leaves the English farmer. Then he meets an Australian farmer.
"So, Australian farmer, how do you shag your sheep?"
"Well, I take the hind legs of the sheep and put them down my wellie boot and take the front legs of the sheep and put them over a wall."
"That's very interesting,"replies the researcher,"That's how they do it in England too."And he leaves the Australian farmer.
Then he meets a farmer from New Zealand.
"So, kiwi farmer, how do you shag your more...
Q. What's white and sticky and found on the bathroom wall?
A. George Michael's latest release.
A Haryana Jat who had been irritated by his failure to answer any of the riddles put to him by a clever bania said angrily:' All right, now you answer this riddle: What is hung on a wall, is red, drips and speaks?'
After a while the bania admitted he did not know the answer.
'It is a picture!', said the Jat triumphantly.
'A picture? It can be hung on a wall but it is not always red,' protested the bania.
'Then paint it red.'
A picture doesn't drip; its dry,' protested the bania again.
'Put fresh paint on it and it will drip.'' But whoever heard of a picture talk!'
'That's right!', replied the Jat,' I added that to make sure a cunning bania like you would not get the answer.'
Some ways to make sure you get an interesting prescription:
1. Ask to borrow a comb, comb your tongue.
2. Take random objects in his office and glue them to the floor.
3. Refuse to cooperate unless he trades his pants.
4. Bring pots and pans. Bang them together when he asks a question you don't like.
5. After everything he says, say, "And how does that make you feel?"
6. Point at random things and say, "Where did you get that?"
7. Complain that his chair looks more comfortable.
8. Repeat over and over, "I'm not hanging out with a bad influence, I AM a bad influence!"
9. Sit underneath your chair.
10. Stand on your head.
11. Kill spiders on the wall with your fist. Eat what sticks to your hand and leave the rest sticking to the wall. Draw a circle around it to make sure everyone sees it.
12. Never stop smiling.
13. Scream every word.
14. Repeatedly tell him to look at the ceiling. When he finally more...