Vultures Jokes / Recent Jokes
A farmer goes out and buys a new, young rooster. As soon as he brings him home, the
young rooster rushes and screws all 150 of the farmers hens. The farmer is impressed.
At lunchtime, the young rooster again screws all 150 hens. The farmer is not just impressed anymore,he is worried. Next morning,not only is the rooster screwin...g the hens but he is screwing the turkeys,ducks even the cow.
Later farmer looks out into the barnyard and finds the rooster stretched out, limp as a rag, his eyes closed, dead and vultures circling overhead.
The farmer runs out, looks down at the young roosters limp body and says: "You deserved it, you horny bastard!"
And the young rooster opens one eye, points up at the vultures with his wing, and says, Shhhh!,they are about to land."
As migration approached, two elderly vultures doubted they could make the trip south, so they decided to go by airplane.
When they checked their baggage, the attendant noticed that they were carrying two dead raccoons. “Do you wish to check the raccoons through as luggage? ” she asked.
“No, thanks, ” replied the vultures. “They’re carrion. ”
-What's the difference between God and a lawyer?
God doesn't think he's a lawyer.
-What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?
A leech quits sucking your blood after you die.
-What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?
A vampire only sucks blood at night.
-What's the difference between a lawyer on a Harley and a vacuum cleaner?
The vacuum has the dirt bag on the inside.
-What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?
A vulture doesn't get Frequent Flyer points.
-What's the other difference between a lawyer and a vulture?
Vultures can't take their wing tips off.
-What's one more difference between a lawyer and a vulture?
Vultures wait' till you're dead to rip your heart out.
-What's the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?
There are skid marks in front of the dog.
-What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the more...
As migration approached, two elderly vultures doubted they could make the trip south, so they decided to go by airplane.
When they checked their baggage, the attendant noticed that they were carrying two dead raccoons. "Do you wish to check the raccoons through as luggage?" she asked.
"No, thanks," replied the vultures. "They're carrion."