Trash Jokes / Recent Jokes

Oil Change instructions for Women:
1) Pull up to Jiffy Lube when the mileage reaches 3000 miles since the last oil change.
2) Drink a cup of coffee.
3) 15 minutes later write a check and leave with a properly maintained vehicle.
Money spent: Oil Change $20. 00 Coffee $1. 00 Total $21. 00

Oil Change instructions for Men:
1) Wait until Saturday, drive to auto parts store and buy a case of oil, filter, kitty litter, hand cleaner and a scented tree, write a check for $50. 00.
2) Stop by liquor store and buy a case of beer, write a check for $20. 00, drive home.
3) Open a beer and drink it.
4) Spend 30 minutes looking for jack stands. Jack car up.
5) Find jack stands under kids pedal car.
6) In frustration, open another beer and drink it.
7) Place drain pan under engine.
8) Look for 9/16 box end wrench.
9) Give up and use crescent wrench.
10) Drop drain plug in pan of hot oil: splash hot oil on face and arms more...

AAC Alter All CommandsAAD Alter All DataAAO Add And OverflowAAR Alter At RandomAB Add BackwardsABC AlphaBetize CodeABR Add Beyond RangeACC Advance CPU ClockACDC Allow Controller to Delete ContentsACDP Allow Controller to Die PeacefullyACQT Advance Clock to Quitting TimeADB Another Dumb BugAEE Absolve Engineering ErrorsAFF Add Fudge FactorAFHB Align Fullword on Halfword BoundaryAFP Abnormalize Floating PointAFR Abort Funny RoutineAFVC Add Finagle's Variable ConstantAGB Add GarBageAGWA Add and Get Wrong AnswerAI Add ImproperAIB Attack Innocent BystanderAIB Attack Innocent BystandersAISG Access and Improve Student GradeAMM Add Mayo and MustardAMM Answer My MailAMS Add Memory to SystemANC ANnoy ConsultantAOI Annoy Operator ImmediateAR Advance RudelyAR Alter RealityARN Add and Reset to Non-zeroARN Add and Reset to NonzeroARZ Add and Reset to ZeroAS Add SidewaysASQGSA ASCII Stupid Question, Get a Stupid ANSIAT Accumulate TriviaAWP Argue With ProgrammerAWTT Assemble With Tinker ToysBA Branch more...

there was a red hair brown hair blonde hair girl walked in to giant they all took candy the people called the cops the brown head girl hid in the baskit, the red haired girl hid in a trash can the blonde head girl hid in a sack of potatoes the cops walk up to the basket and kicked it. The brown head girl goes "meow meow". the cops walked up to the trash can and the red hair girl goes "ruff ruff". The cops walk up to the sack of potatoes and the blonde head girl goes "potatoe potatoe" the cops start to walk away until the clerk said potatoes dont talk

whats the difference between a cheerleader and trash?
Trash gets taken out more often

Little Timmy went to school and got an assignment to find 3 words to learn that he thought would be good, So he asked his sister what would be a good word to learn and she said "
SHUT UP!"
so then he asked his mom who was talking on the phone and she said "
Blah Blah Blah, Ya Ya Ya"
so then he went to his dad and his dad said "
In The Trash Can, In The Trash Can"
so then the next morning he went to school the teacher asked him what his words to learn were and he said "
SHUT UP!"
. So the teacher sent him to the office. The principal was going on and on about manners so Timmy said "
Blah Blah Blah, Ya Ya Ya"
so the principal talked to Timmys parents and they said "
TIMMY! WHERE ARE YTOUR BRAINS!"
so timmy said "
In The Trash Can, In The Trash Can"
My Favorite Joke!!!
-Miles prower

What's worse than 10 dead babies in a trash can?
1 dead baby in 10 trash cans!