Tongs Jokes

The health inspector shut down the restaurant on the corner of main street and second avenue.
A new owner rebuilt the kitchen area. The inspector was very impressed with the new kitchen. Stainless steel counters and shelves. Floors of white marble. More lighting install making a bright and clean looking work area. Tongs hanging everywhere, the food was not touched by human hands.
The inspector noticed a string hanging from the cooks fly and asked "What is the string for?"
The cook replied, "When I go to the bathroom, I do not have to touch it, I just pull it out with the string."
"Oh how neat," replied the inspector, "how do you get it back in?"
The cook responded "With the salad tongs."

Preeto was giving an upper-crust party and had hired Rupa, a girl recently come to Chandigarh from a remote village, as a maid.
As Rupa was setting up the tea service, Preeto told her to be certain that there were sugar tongs available.
Rupa had never heard of sugar tongs, and asked her what they were and why they were used.
Preeto, always happy to Enlighten the Unenlightened, told Rupa that the problem lay with the gentlemen, who would go to the loo, and to do what they needed to do, had to touch things which were less than acceptably sanitary.
"Sure, Ma'am," Rupa said, impressed.
After the guests had begun arriving that evening, Preeto was dismayed and infuriated not to see any sugar tongs on the tea service.
Rupa, trembling, came quickly in answer to Preeto's angry shout.
"But... but, ma'am, I put the tongs out just as you told me to."
Furious Preeto pointed to the tea table, devoid of tongs, "Then where are they, young more...