Tension Jokes

A guy is suffering from severe headaches for years with no relief. After trying all the usual cures he's referred to a headache specialist by his family doctor. The doctor asks him what his symptoms are and he replies, "I get these blinding headaches; kind of like a knife across my scalp and..".

He is interrupted by the doctor, "And a heavy throbbing right behind the left ear".

"Yes! Exactly! How did you know?"

"Well I am the world's greatest headache specialist, you know. But I myself suffered from that same type of headache for many years. It is caused by a tension in the scalp muscles. This is how I cured it: Every day I would give my wife oral sex. When she came she would squeeze her legs together with all her strength and the pressure would relieve the tension in my head. Try that every day for two weeks and come back and let me know how it goes".

Two weeks go by and the man is back, "Well, more...

A guy has been suffering from severe headaches for years with no relief. After trying all the usual cures he's referred to a headache specialist by his family doctor. The doctor asks him what his symptoms are and he replies.
"I get these blinding headaches; kind of like a knife across my scalp and...."
He is interrupted by the doctor, "And a heavy throbbing right behind the left ear".
"Yes! Exactly! How did you know?"
"Well I am the world's greatest headache specialist, you know. But I myself suffered from that same type of headache for many years. It is caused by a tension in the scalp muscles. This is how I cured it: Every day I would give my wife oral sex. When she came she would squeeze her legs together with all her strength and the pressure would relieve the tension in my head. Try that every day for two weeks and come back and let me know how it goes".
Two weeks go by and the man is back, "Well, how do you more...

What's the difference between stress, tension and panic? Stress is when wife is pregnant, tension is when girlfriend is pregnant, and panic is when both are pregnant.

> A guy is suffering from severe headaches for years with no relief. After
>trying all the usual cures he's referred to a headache specialist by his
>family doctor. The doctor asks him what his symptoms are and he replies, "I
>get these blinding headaches; kind of like a knife across my scalp and..". He
>is interrupted by the doctor, "And a heavy throbbing right behind the left
>ear".
>
> "Yes! Exactly! How did you know?"
>
> "Well I am the world's greatest headache specialist,
> you know. But I myself suffered from that same type
> of headache for many years. It is caused by a tension
> in the scalp muscles. This is how I cured it: Every
> day I would give my wife oral sex. When she came she
> would squeeze her legs together with all her strength
> and the pressure would relieve the tension in my head.
> Try that every day for two weeks and come back and let
> me more...

A guy is suffering from severe headaches for years with no relief. After trying all the usual cures he's referred to a headache specialist by his family doctor. The doctor asks him what his symptoms are and he replies, "I get these blinding headaches; kind of like a knife across my scalp and..."
He is interrupted by the doctor, "And a heavy throbbing right behind the left ear".
"Yes! Exactly! How did you know?"
"Well I am the world's greatest headache specialist, you know. But I myself suffered from that same type of headache for many years. It is caused by a tension in the scalp muscles. This is how I cured it: Every day I would give my wife oral sex. When she came she would squeeze her legs together with all her strength and the pressure would relieve the tension in my head. Try that every day for two weeks and come back and let me know how it goes".
Two weeks go by and the man is back, "Well, how do you more...