Stain Jokes / Recent Jokes

Leroy is an 18 year old ninth grader who is becoming increasingly disillusioned with the public school system.

One day Leroy got an easy homework assignment. All he had to do was put each of the following words in a sentence. This is what Leroy did.

1. HOTEL - I gave my girlfriend da crabs and the HOTEL everybody.

2. RECTUM - I had two Cadillacs, but my ol' lady RECTUM both.

3. DISAPPOINTMENT - My parole officer tol me if I miss DISAPPOINTMENT they gonna send me back to the big house.

4. FORECLOSE - If I pay alimony this month, I'll have no money FORECLOSE.

5. CATACOMB - Don King was at the fight the other night, Man, somebody give that CATACOMB.

6. PENIS - I went to da doctor and he handed me a cup and said PENIS.

7. ISRAEL - Alonso tried to sell me a Rolex, I said Man, that looks fake. He said, No, ISRAEL.

8. UNDERMINE - There is a fine lookin' hoe livin' in the apartment more...

Leroy was a 17 year old ninth grader. Leroy got this homework assignment
in his Ebonics class. All he had to do was use each of the following words
in a sentence. The following is how he completed the assignment.
Rectum: I had two Caddilacs but my ol lady rectum.
Hotel: I gave my woman da crabs and da hotel evabody.
Odyssey: I told my bro, man, you odyssey da tits on da hoe.
Stain: My muda-in-law axed me if I'm stain for dinna agin.
Seldom: My cousin give me tickets to da Warriors game so I seldom.
Penis: I went to da docta an he hanned me a cup and said penis.
Foreclose: If I pay alimony dis munf, I'd have no muny foreclose.
Undermine: Dare's a fine lookin hoe livin in da partmunt undermine.
Disappointment: My parole offcer tel me if I miss disappointment he
gonna kill me
Tripoli: I was gonne buy my ol lady a bra but I coudnt find no
Tripoli
Income: I just got in bed wit dis hoe and income my wife
Honor: At da rape trial more...

Jhonny is 18 and in the 8th grade. Homework is hard for him.
One day, Jhonny got an easy homework assignment that required
him to put each of the following vocabulary words in a
sentence. Here's what he wrote, Ebonic style.
1. HOTEL - I gave my girlfriend da crabs and the' hotel' everybody.
2. RECTUM - I had two Caddilacs, but my ol'lady' rectum' both.
3. DISAPPOINTMENT - My parole officer tol'me if I mess' disappontment'
they gonna send me back to the big house.
4. FORECLOSE - If I pay ailmoney this month, I'll have no money
' foreclose'
5. CATACOMB - Don King was at the fight the other night, Man, somebody
give that' cata omb.'
6. ISRAEL - Alonso tried to sell me a Rolex, I said Man, that looks
fake. He said No' israel.'
7. UNDERMINE - There's fine lookin' hoe livin' in the apartment
' undermine.'
8. TRIPOLI - I was gonna my ol'lady a bra, but I couldn't find' tripoli.'
9. STAIN - My mother-in-law more...

1. If a small child is choking on an ice cube, don't panic. Simply pour a jug of boiling water down its throat and hey presto! The blockage is almost instantly removed.

2. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away.

3. Weight watchers. Avoid that devilish temptation to nibble at a chocolate bar in the cupboard or fridge by not buying the thing in the first place, you fat barstools.

4. Save on booze by drinking cold tea instead of whisky. The morning after, you can create the effects of a hangover by drinking a thimble full of washing up liquid and banging your head repeatedly on the wall.

5. Recreate the fun of a visit to a public swimming pool in your home by filling the bath with cold water, adding two bottles of bleach, then urinating into it, before jumping in.

6. Don't buy expensive' ribbed' condoms, just buy an ordinary one and slip handful of frozen peas more...

Before attempting to remove stubborn stains from a garment always circle the stain in permanent pen so that when you remove the garment from the washing machine you can easily locate the area of the stain and check that it has gone.

High blood pressure sufferers. Simply cut yourself and bleed for a while, thus reducing the pressure in your veins.

Olympic athletes. Conceal the fact that you have taken performance enhancing drugs by simply running a little slower and letting someone else win.

Heavy smokers. Don't throw away those filters from the end of your cigarettes. Save them up and within a few years you'll have enough to insulate your loft.

Motorists. Enjoy the freedom of cycling by removing your windscreen, sticking half a melon skin on you head, then jumping red lights and driving the wrong way up one way streets.

Create instant designer stubble by sucking a magnet and dipping your chin in a bowl of iron more...

Leroy is an 18 year old ninth grader who is becoming increasingly
disillusioned with the public school system. One day, Leroy got an easy homework assignment. All he had to do was put each of the following vocabulary words in a sentence. Here's what he wrote.
1. HOTEL - I gave my girlfriend da crabs and the HOTEL everybody.
2. RECTUM - I had two Cadillacs, but my ol' lady RECTUM both.
3. DISAPPOINTMENT - My parole officer tol me if I miss DISAPPOINTMENT they gonna send me back to the big house.
4. FORECLOSE - If I pay alimony this month, I'll have no money FORCLOSE.
5. CATACOMB - Don King was at the fight the other night, Man, somebody give that CATACOMB.
6. PENIS - I went to da doctor and he handed me a cup and said PENIS.
7. ISRAEL - Alonso tried to sell me a Rolex, I said Man, that looks fake. He said, No, ISRAEL.
8. UNDERMINE - There is a fine lookin' hoe livin' in the apartment UNDERMINE.
9. TRIPOLI - I was gonna buy my old lady a bra but I more...