Socrates Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    [Original Author: Richard Lederer, St Paul's School]
    One of the fringe benefits of being an English or History teacher is receiving the occasional jewel of a
    student blooper in an essay. I have pasted together the following "history" of the world from certifiably
    genuine student bloopers collected by teachers throughout the United States, from eighth grade through
    college level. Read carefully, and you will learn a lot.
    The inhabitants of ancient Egypt were called mummies. They lived in the Sarah Dessert and traveled by
    Camelot. The climate in the Sarah is such that the inhabitants have to live elsewhere, so certain areas of
    the dessert are cultivated by irritation. The Egyptians built the pyramids in the shape of a huge triangular
    cube. The pyramids are a range of mountains between France and Spain.
    The Bible is full of interesting caricatures. In the first book of the Bible, Guinesses, Adam and Eve were
    created from an more...

    One of the fringe benefits of being an English or History teacher is receiving the occasional jewel of a student blooper in an essay. I have pasted together the following "history" of the world from certfiably genuine student bloopers collected by teachers throughout the United States, from eighth grade through college level. Read carefully, and you will learn a lot.

    The inhabitants of Egypt were called mummies and they all wrote in hydraulics. They lived in the Sarah Dessert and traveled by Camelot. The climate of the Sarah is such that the inhabitants have to live elsewhere, so certain areas of the dessert are cultivated by irritation. The Egyptians built the Pyramids in the shape of a huge triangular cube. The Pyramids are a range of mountains between France and Spain.

    The Bible is full of interesting caricatures. In the first book of the Bible, Guinesses, Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree. One of their children, Cain, asked "Am I my more...

    Andy:- Please note the GCSE's are public exams taken by 13 year olds in UK
    This is an indication of the wonderful future that awaits the UK... the level of answers in GCSE exams!
    This is a compilation of actual student GCSE answers...
    1. Ancient Egypt was inhabited by mummies and they all wrote in hydraulics.They lived in the Sarah Dessert and traveled by Camelot. The climate of the Sarah is such that the inhabitants have to live elsewhere.
    2. The Bible is full of interesting caricatures. In the first book of the Bible, Guinessis, Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree. One of their children, Cain, asked, "Am I my brother's son?"
    3. Moses led the Hebrew slaves to the Red Sea, where they made unleavened bread which is bread made without any ingredients. Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the ten commandments. He died before he ever reached Canada.
    4. Solomom had three hundred wives and seven hundred porcupines.
    5. The Greeks were a highly more...

    WORDS OF THE WISE

    1. The trouble with being punctual is that nobody's there to appreciate it. - Franklin P. Jones

    2. Love is the answer, but while you are waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good questions. - Woody Allen

    3. Lord, grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to hide the bodies of those I had to kill because they ticked me off.

    4. I think animal testing is a terrible idea; they get all nervous and give the wrong answers.

    5. All my life, I always wanted to be somebody. Now I see that I should have been more specific. - Jane Wagner

    8. What is a committee? A group of the unwilling, picked from the unfit, to do the unnecessary. - Richard Harkness, The NewYork Times, 1960

    9. Women's creed: Men are like linoleum. If you lay them right the first time, you can walk on them for 20 years. - unknown NOW member

    10. more...

    In ancient Greece, Socrates was reputed to hold knowledge in the highest esteem.

    One day an acquaintance met the great philosopher and said, "Socrates, do you know what I just heard about your friend?"


    "Hold on a minute," Socrates replied. "Before telling me anything I'd like you to pass a little test. It's called the Triple Filter Test."

    "Triple filter?"

    "That's right," Socrates continued. "Before you talk to me about my friend, it might be a good idea to take a moment and filter what you're going to say.

    The first filter is Truth. Have you made absolutely sure that what you are about to tell me is absolutely true?

    "N o," the man said, "I actually just heard about it and..."

    "All right," said Socrates. "So you don't really know if it's true or not. Now let's try the second filter, the filter of Goodness. Is what more...

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