Silicon Jokes / Recent Jokes

In school one day the teacher decided that in science class she talks about materials; So she stood in the front of the class and said, "Children, if you could have one raw material in the world what would it be?" Little Steve raised his hand and said "I would want gold, because it is worth a lot of money and I could buy a Porsche." The teacher nod and called on Jane. Little Jane said, "I would want platinum because platinum is worth more than gold and I could buy a Corvette." The teacher smiled and then called on little Johnny. Little Johnny stood up and said, "I would want silicon." The teacher said, "Why Johnny?" He responded by saying, "Because my mom had two bags of it and you should see all the sports cars outside our house!"

What do you call the space between Pamela Andersons breasts?
Silicon valley

A man walks into a Silicon Valley pet store looking to buy a monkey. The store owner points towards three identical looking monkeys in politically-correct, animal-friendly natural mini-habitats. "The one on the left costs $500," says the store owner. "Why so much?" asks the customer.
"Because it can program in C," answers the store owner. The customer inquires about the next monkey and is told, "That one costs $1500, because it knows Visual C++ and Object-Relational technology."
The startled man then asks about the third monkey. "That one costs $3000," answers the store owner.
"3000 dollars!!" exclaims the man. "What can that one do?" To which the owner replies, "To be honest, I've never seen it do a single thing, but it calls itself a Consultant."

In school one day the teacher decided that in science class she would teach about materials; So she stood in the front of the class and said, "Children, if you could have one raw material in the world what would it be?"

Little Stevie raised his hand and said "I would want gold, because gold is worth a lot of money and I could buy a Porsche."

The teacher nodded and called on little Susie.

Little Susie said, "I would want platinum because platinum is worth more than gold and I could buy a Corvette"

The teacher smiled and then called on Little Johnny. Little Johnny stood up and said, "I would want silicon."

The teacher said, "Why Johnny?"

He responded by saying, "Because my mom has two bags of it and you should see all the sports cars outside our house!!"

"Who Wants to Marry a Software Engineer?" is Silicon Valley's newest game show.
What quality do you value most in your partner?
A sense of humor
Emotional maturity.
High bandwidth.
When you get home at the end of the day, you like to:
Turn on the Silicon Valley Business report, and eat dinner.
Hook up to your ISP, and check out the hit count on your web page.
Recharge your cell phone, laptop, and wireless modem, change batteries on your pager, and resynchronize your Palm Pilot and home computer.
Your ideal partner is:
Interesting and attractive.
Emotionally mature and understanding.
Extensible and polymorphic.
In spiritually difficult times, you often turn to:
Dilbert
Kernighan and Ritchie
comp.lang.c++
If go over to your partner's place and think its a mess, you would:
Complain to him/her, and tell them to tidy up.
Call a maid service.
Make clean
What kind of car would more...