Shuttle Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Editor's Note: It's dry parody. You gotta really like sci-fi to enjoy this one...

    Experiment 8 Postflight Summary
    NASA publication 14-307-1792


    The purpose of this experiment was to prepare for the expected participation in long-term space based research by husband-wife teams once the US space station is in place. To this end, the investigators explored a number of possible approaches to continued marital relations in the zero-G orbital environment provided by the XXXXXX shuttle mission.

    Our primary conclusion is that satisfactory marital relations are within the realm of possibility in zero-G, but that many couples would have difficulty getting used to the approaches we found to be most satisfactory.



    The more...

    Needless to say that our hearts and prayers are with the families of Shuttle Columbias heroes. However I would not be surprised if the NASA investigators will try to blame the LEFT-WING for this tragic disaster.

    Scientists at NASA built a gun specifically to launch dead chickens at the windshields of airplanes, military jets and the space shuttle, all traveling at maximum velocity. The idea is to simulate the frequent incidents of collisions with airborne fowl to test the strength of thewindshields.British engineers heard about the gun and were eager to test it on the windshields of their new high speed trains. Arrangements were made, and a gun was sent to the British engineers. When the gun was fired, the engineers stood shocked as the chicken hurtled out of the barrel, crashed into the shatterproof shield, smashed it to smithereens, blasted through the control console, snapped the pilot's backrest in two and embedded itself in the back wall of the cabin, like a bolt shot from a crossbow. The horrified Brits sent NASA the disastrous results of the experiment, along with the designs for the windshield, andbegged the U.S. scientists for suggestions.NASA responded with a one-line memo: more...

    Q: What were Christa McAuliffe's last words to her husband?
    A: "You feed the kids - I'll feed the fish."

    Q: What does NASA stand for?
    A1: Need Another Seven Astronauts
    A2: Need Another Shuttle Also

    Q: Did you know why there was only one black crew member on Challenger?
    A: They didn't know it was going to blow up.

    Q: Did you know that NASA has a new space drink?
    A: Ocean Spray - It was their second choice because they couldn't get 7-UP.

    Q: On future shuttle missions, why will one of the astronauts have to be a naval officer?
    A: So when they decide to use it as an experimental submarine, they'll have a rated officer onboard.

    Q: How many people will fit in a Florida Volkswagen?
    A: Four in the seats and seven in the ashtray.

    Nitroglycerin suppository
    My First (and Last) Dr. Kivorkian approved suicide/euthanasia kit
    Paper cuts from hate mail
    Wine press
    Random act of terrorism
    Dissolved in organic solvent of choice (e.g. 1,1,1-trichloroethane, acetone, carbon tetrachloride)
    Clubbed by a baby seal hunter
    Exploding gas barbeque
    Date with Lorana Bobbit / Tonya Harding
    Rusty meat hook
    Pulp digester / Saw mill
    Sexually transmitted disease
    Lethal injestion of bean sprouts and tofu
    Skydiving accident (His concrete parachute fails to open).
    Baney meets the Terminator. "Hasta la vista... BARNEY!".
    Exploding school bus
    Field trip to the Toronto Metro Zoo. Barney loves to spread love and happiness to all of the carnivores.
    Childrens Tylenol laced with cyanide
    Sacrifice to a tribal god
    Fed through a branch/leaf shredder (or office paper shredder)
    Trampling by thousands of tiny spongie feet
    Asphixiation on a twinkie
    Bungee more...

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