School Jokes / Recent Jokes
Why do teachers use a bamboo cane? Because when the cane goes bam the child goes boo!
A guy goes to his high school class reunion. Having not seen anyone in twenty-five years he's very curious as to who might show up.
When he gets there he runs into his old high school sweetheart. They sit down and talk about the past.
"How have you been?" he asks.
"I've been fine, just fine," she replies, "Although I do have some good news and a little bad news, though."
"Bad news first, please."
"Well, a few weeks ago I had to have a hysterectomy."
"Oh my, that's too bad. I'm sorry to hear that."
"But the good news is the doctor found your old high school class ring you thought you lost!"
A boy's classmate told him that most adults are hiding at least one deep, dark secret which makes it very easy to blackmail them by saying "I know the whole truth", even when you don't know anything.
Thinking this sounded like a pretty good way to make some money, the boy decided to try it out.
When he got home from school that day, his mother greeted him at the door. He gave her a very serious look and said, "I know the whole truth!" His mother quickly handed him $20 and said, "Don't tell your father."
Pleased that what his friend said seemed to be working, he waited for his father to get home from work, greeted him and said, "I know the whole truth!" His father immediately handed him $40 and said, "Not a word to your mother."
Even more pleased with the results of his get-rich-quick scheme, the boy saw the mailman at his front door as he was heading out to school the following day. He looked the mailman in the eye and more...
A little boy returning home from his first day at school said to his mother, "Mom, what's sex?"
His mother, who believed in all the most modern educational theories, gave him a detailed explanation, covering all aspects of the tricky subject.
When she had finished, the little lad produced an enrollment form which he had brought home from school and said, "Yes, but how am I going to get all that into this one little square?"
At the beginning of term, we were supposed to portray what we learned during holidays by acting in a play for the school. Here I was known as the best actress in class so I was given the role of a secondary student who goes out with a rich man's reckless son.
During the rehearsals, everything went perfect until the real day on stage.
Acting pregnant with clothes stuffed in my dress, I begged the rich man's son not to leave me in such a condition when suddenly my BABY fell out of the TUMMY...
I was so embarrassed as the whole school burst out laughing hysterically. But with talent, I knelt down n cried that silence fell upon their heads thinking it was part of the play...
I was still voted the best.
There once was a third grader named Jimmy. Every time the teacher would say something, Jimmy would say, "How about that!"
One day, the teacher said, "And then George Washington crossed the Delaware."
Jimmy said, "How about that!"
The teacher told Jimmy, "If you say that one more time, you are going out into the hall, mister!"
To that, Jimmy replied, ", Well, how about that!"
Taking him by the arm, the teacher marched Jimmy into the hall and said, "While you're out here, I want you to write a poem to tell the class."
Twenty minutes later, the teacher came out to get Jimmy and said, "Before we go back in, I want to hear your poem."
Jimmy said, "As I stood in the hall, I saw a cockroach go up the wall. How about that!"
The teacher said, "That's fine, Jimmy, but I want you to leave the cock out."
She took him back into the classroom and announced that more...